Chapter 1The night before my wedding, I miscarry in a car crash.
Through the haze of pain, my phone buzzes—my best friend Lily.
"Help! Some psycho won't leave me alone!"
I drive four hours through snow to reach her.
When I arrive, a man has her pinned against the wall.
"Let go! Are you insane?!" Lily shouts. "You're getting married tomorrow!"
His voice is raw: "Yeah, I'm insane. Insane enough to ditch my bleeding fiancée, buy the ring for you, set the wedding on your birthday… She’s just a substitute."
Lily laughs bitterly. "Replacement? Congrats—you even knocked her up."
He grips her chin. "She lost it tonight. Nothing stops me now."
He turns.
I see his face.
Nathan.
My fiancé.
I'm gripping the pepper spray I bought for Lily, hands shaking.
This can't be real.
Hours ago, Nathan was wiping my tears in the hospital: "I'll make your favorite soup. Back soon, I promise."
He kissed my forehead.
So this guy just looks like him. Has to be.
I hide behind a pole, fingers trembling as I text:
[Babe, where are you?]
Nothing.
He always texts back right away.
Under the streetlight, Lily shoves him hard.
"Get the hell away from me!"
The light hits his face—that scar above his eyebrow.
From defending me in a fight.
It's Nathan.
My chest caves in.
His voice cuts like glass: "Don't flatter yourself. You're the one who called me crying. Six years later, still pulling this crap."
Lily's face crumples. "Then why did you come?! You left your fiancée bleeding in a hospital bed!"
She laughs, tears streaming. "Enjoying this? Watching me hit rock bottom—finally getting what I deserve, right?!"
He grabs her wrist. She fights him. He yanks her into his arms.
"That's not what I meant."
She breaks, sobbing into his chest: "You think I wanted to call you? But when that guy wouldn't leave me alone, all I could think about was you. You used to protect me."
"You really think these six years without you were easy?"
He drops his head against hers, voice cracking:
"If you hadn't left, we'd have a kid by now."
"So why does she get to carry one instead?"
The cold burns through my coat.
My phone screen glows in the dark.
Nathan's message thread—still blank.
Chapter 2
I'm literally crumbling against this pole.
My chest hurts so bad I can't even cry.
Lily's first love was Nathan.
The guy she'd ugly-cry about whenever she got drunk.
She'd trauma-dump the whole story—how he'd write her cringey love letters every single day, how he literally set off fireworks across the entire city for her birthday, how he turned down a full ride abroad just to stay.
I asked her once: "Girl, what happened?"
She face-planted on the bar, mascara everywhere: "His mom slid me 500k to ghost him. I took it and ran. He literally got on his knees in the rain for TWO DAYS begging me to stay. I still left."
"Rent doesn't pay itself. I'm trash, I know."
When I introduced them? Awkward doesn't even cover it. They acted like the other person didn't exist.
After that, they avoided each other like the plague.
How was I supposed to know they had main character breakup energy?
I met Nathan when I was seventeen.
Back then my main character arc wasn't about grades or boys—it was surviving my grandpa pounding on my door every night.
One night he came home wasted and started literally breaking it down.
I jumped out the window, ran to some random bar, curled up in the corner having a full panic attack.
"You really shouldn't be here."
I looked up.
Nathan's standing there judging my school uniform.
I side-eyed this tired older guy like: "Then why are you here?"
He sat down, pushed water at me.
"Got dumped. She said forever, then dipped like I meant nothing."
We talked for hours. Wednesdays became our thing.
The night my grandpa broke my lock, Nathan literally kicked the door off.
Threw his jacket around me, slammed grandpa to the ground, beat him bloody.
Everyone kept saying he's family, forgive him.
My dad literally said if I called cops, I'd be homeless.
Nathan looked me dead in the eye: "You don't have to be scared anymore. I got you."
Got me a lawyer. Had grandpa arrested.
Let me crash at his place so I could finish school.
First time anyone ever actually protected me.
Freshman year I finally shot my shot: "Nathan... do you like me?"
He froze.
After like a full minute: "What if someday someone else matters more?"
I stood on my toes and kissed him.
"You matter most."
We got together. He treated me like I was everything.
When I didn't understand something, he'd explain it without making me feel dumb.
When I'd never experienced something, he'd make it happen.
He'd say: "Stop doubting yourself. You're smart in ways other people aren't. What you don't know, we'll figure out together."
He knew I had nightmares, so he'd FaceTime me every night until I fell asleep.
He knew I loved roasted chestnuts, so he'd drive across the city in winter just to find them.
No one was ever going to love me like this again.
I really thought we'd make it.
But right now?
He's standing there.
Left me bleeding in a hospital.
Holding my best friend like she's the only person who's ever mattered.
He taught me everything.
How to study. How to stand up for myself. How not to trust too fast.
But he never taught me what to do when I realize he's been in love with someone else this entire time.
Chapter 3
My brain's a mess.
One second I'm seeing him making me soup. Next second he's holding her.
One second he's saying "be right back." Next he's asking "why does it have to be now?"
I grip my phone.
Give us a chance. Six years deserves that.
Maybe he's just getting closure. Maybe he's still the guy who'd fight for me.
I hit call.
Third ring, he picks up.
"Babe? What's wrong?"
My throat's so dry I can barely talk.
"Where are you?"
He pauses. Just one second.
"Something came up last minute. Had to bail. The housekeeper's bringing you soup—drink it for me, okay?"
I'm staring at him ten meters away.
He's holding his phone, back to me, snow piling up on his shoulders.
"I can't drink it without you."
His voice goes soft: "I know. I'll be back soon. Feeling any better? Does it still hurt?"
"Once I wrap this up, let's get away for a bit. You've been wanting to visit the coast, right? We'll stay a few days. Just us."
While he's saying this, Lily lifts her head from his chest, eyes swollen red.
He reaches up and brushes snow off her hair.
"Babe," I say.
"Yeah?"
"Where... where's your work trip again?"
Lily pulls away from him, limping off.
He grabs for her, voice urgent: "Listen, Morgan, I really gotta go—I'll call you back, okay?"
The screen goes dark.
He catches Lily's wrist.
She looks up at him, eyes flooding.
"You're on the phone being sweet to her while you're literally holding onto me?"
"How can you do both at the same time?"
Yeah, Nathan.
How can you tell me you love me on the phone, then turn around and hold her?
Lily shoves him off, dragging her injured leg away.
He catches up, scoops her into his arms.
"Your ankle's messed up. I'm taking you to the hospital."
She freezes. Then fights him.
"Put me DOWN—"
He doesn't answer. Just walks toward his car.
"You're carrying me with her ring still on your finger! Every second reminding me you're marrying someone else!"
"How am I supposed to let you take care of me?!"
He stops. Looks down at his hand.
The day he proposed, he got on one knee, holding that ring, hands shaking.
"I'm only proposing once in my life. Only loving one person."
By the mountains. By the lake.
His honesty destroyed me.
I said yes.
He slid the ring on, eyes wet.
"Don't ever take this off."
"No matter what happens. Don't take it off."
First time I ever saw him cry.
And he never took it off. Not once.
Until now.
He lowers his head, uses his teeth to pull the ring off.
"Stop making this harder, okay?"
She goes still. Lets him put her in the passenger seat.
I can't move.
The car pulls out, passing right by me. Two meters away.
If he just glanced over.
He'd see his fiancée—freshly miscarried, standing in a snowstorm behind a pole, shaking uncontrollably.
He'd see the tears on my face. My frozen hands. My phone clutched tight, screen still glowing with his unanswered text.
He never looks over.
I look down at my hand.
My ring's still there.
Same platinum band.
Same engraved initials.
Nathan.
These past six years—was I just a placeholder? A shadow filling the space she left behind?
Did you ever actually love me?
