Chapter 1After arguing with my husband, I just stepped out to grab a package. When I got back, my son was gone.
After that, I went insane looking for him. Spent every day drowning in guilt.
My mother-in-law blamed me. My mom just cried.
Jared even got in my face and yelled:
"If you don't find our son, we're DONE!"
Four years. I gave up everything. Followed 99 leads all over the country.
Every time, I came back with NOTHING.
My arms were covered in cuts. I fell into severe depression.
On the 100th try, I couldn't do it anymore. I swallowed a whole bottle of pills.
Right as I was dying, I heard Jared talking to Shay — his childhood sweetheart.
"Baby, when are you gonna tell Maren the kid was never missing? I can't wait to see her face!"
Jared laughed. He said slowly.
"Not yet. She made me get rid of our baby. Now she's paying for it.
"When she finally admits she was wrong — maybe I'll tell her."
Four years of hell.
Turned all of it was just him getting back at me!
A tear rolled down my face.
And then I felt nothing at all.
...
I died in our son Carter's nursery. Wanted to be close to him. One last time.
Jared opened the bedroom door. I wasn't there. He figured I was still out.
He turned and pulled Shay onto our bed.
"She's probably chasing another fake lead. Out in the middle of nowhere again."
Shay laughed.
"God, she falls for it every time. I've never seen anyone so desperate. Believes whatever they tell her.
"Remember that time she drove out to some mountain? Barely made it back alive. Cops found her covered in dirt, holding a knife, totally out of her mind. Three guys knocked out on the ground. Still don't know what went down."
At that, Jared's face suddenly went cold. He shoved her away.
Shay knew she screwed up.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissed it soft.
"Sorry. I won't bring it up again. Baby, it's been forever since we—"
Jared flipped her onto her back. Grinned.
"Don't get it twisted. I'm not jealous. She's just pathetic.
"If she'd just kept her mouth shut back then, I never would've left her.
"But she killed our baby. So yeah. She deserves this. All of it."
Their clothes came off.
Right there. On the bed we used to share. Where we used to be happy.
They went at it.
I thought death meant no more pain.
But my chest still felt like it was splitting open.
Back then, HE was the one who got on his knees. Who begged me not to leave.
"Maren, please. I was wasted that night. I thought she was you. I'll handle the baby. I swear. Just don't go."
But I said no. I wanted out.
Jared freaked. Dragged Shay to my place. Made her apologize to my face.
Then took her straight to the clinic.
I felt guilty. Spent months going back and forth.
Finally gave in.
And spent the next four years getting played.
The moaning didn't stop until past midnight.
Jared finally remembered I existed. He glanced at the door.
"Where the hell is she? Didn't even send a text."
He tried calling me.
A few seconds passed.
Then my ringtone started going off. Somewhere in the apartment.
Jared went stiff. His eyes shot toward Carter's nursery.
Chapter 2
Shay bit back a smile. Faked concern.
"Wait—she's home? You think she heard?"
Jared grabbed his clothes. Threw them on. Headed for the nursery.
I followed behind. Watched him stand there with his hand on the door. Not moving.
Finally, he pushed it open.
He walked over to the bed.
I was under the blanket. Curled up tight. Not moving.
His face went white. Then red. He thought I was playing games.
"Maren. You heard us. Whatever. I'm done hiding it."
"Yeah. I took Carter. But you pushed me to this. This is on you."
He stared at the blanket.
"Just stop making everything harder. We can still make this work."
Silence.
He waited.
Nothing.
His jaw tightened. He let out a bitter laugh.
"Seriously? You're really gonna ignore me? Fine. See how long that lasts."
I watched him stand there. Cursing under his breath.
Then he turned and slammed the door behind him.
I felt nothing.
Just wondered what his face would look like when he realized.
Jared left. But minutes later, footsteps came back down the hall.
This time, he wasn't alone. He was holding someone's hand.
A little boy. Four years old.
My chest stopped.
Carter.
He had my eyes.
Tears streamed down my face. I ran to him. Tried to wrap my arms around him.
They passed right through.
Jared's voice had an edge to it. Almost proud. He nudged Carter toward the bed.
"He's been at my mom's this whole time. Now he's back. That what you wanted?"
Then he turned and walked out again. Shay followed.
Monster!
He left a four-year-old alone in the dark!
The room was pitch black. Silent. Carter started crying.
It killed me. I tried so hard to calm him down.
"Carter, baby, it's okay. Mommy's here..."
But ghosts can't talk to the living.
Carter curled up next to me. Cried until he passed out.
I watched him all night. Tears running down my face.
He was terrified. Starving. Even in his sleep, he looked miserable.
When morning came, he woke up. Sat up slow. Rubbing his eyes.
His little voice cracked.
"Grandma? Where'd you go? I'm so hungry..."
He looked over at me. At my body on the bed.
Waited a minute. Then whispered.
"Um... miss? Can you please wake up? I just need some food."
"I'll be really good. I won't eat a lot."
Nothing.
He climbed down. Looked so sad.
Then he spotted something on the floor. The pill bottle.
My stomach dropped.
There were still a few left inside.
Carter's face lit up.
"Candy!"
He dumped them into his palm. Glanced back at me.
"I'll only have three, okay? I'm really, really hungry."
He brought them toward his mouth.
"NO!"
I screamed. Threw myself at him. Tried to slap them away.
My hand went right through.
The door flew open.
Jared saw. His face went white.
He lunged across the room. Shoved his fingers into Carter's mouth.
"Spit it out! All of it! NOW!"
Carter burst into tears.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Daddy, please don't hurt me!"
Jared kept going until every piece was out. Then he finally stopped shaking.
He looked over at me. Face twisted with disgust.
Before he could say anything, Shay cut in.
"Seriously, Maren? You're gonna leave pills lying around? He's FOUR. You could've killed him."
"I get you're pissed at Jared. But taking it out on Carter? That's sick."
She kept talking. Jared just stood there. Silent.
If they'd looked closer, they would've noticed. My skin was gray. Waxy. The smell starting to creep in.
But Jared didn't. He stood there for three minutes. Then scooped Carter up and walked out.
He took Carter to get lunch.
But he wasn't really there. Just staring at his phone the whole time.
It'd been two days since I last texted.
He looked... uneasy.
Because I never went silent. He knew that. I'd told him once.
"Don't avoid things. I deal with problems. That's what I do."
Even the night I caught him cheating. Even when I was breaking down. I didn't hide.
Something clicked.
Maybe something actually happened.
He stood up fast. Muttered under his breath.
"This doesn't feel right. Something's off."
Then he turned and ran.
Chapter 3
But Shay spoke up.
"I saw her yesterday. She was up. Eating."
Jared stopped mid-step. Turned around.
"She was up?"
Shay nodded. Looked a little sheepish.
"Yeah. I tried talking to her. She wouldn't even look at me. Just told me to get out."
Jared's jaw tightened.
He laughed. Cold.
"Of course. She's faking. All that 'I love my son' bullshit? Please. She almost killed him."
I hovered above them. Felt nothing.
I wasn't faking. I was dead.
I watched Shay's smug smile. Wondered how long it'd last once she knew.
I drifted back home. Stayed with my body a little longer.
My phone buzzed. My mom.
She hadn't heard from me in two days. She knew something was wrong.
Three calls. Then silence.
Thirty minutes later, she was there.
Out of breath. Face pale.
She checked the bedroom first.
"Maren? Sweetheart?"
Not there. Guest room. Then the nursery.
"MAREN!"
A scream ripped through the apartment.
I couldn't watch.
She cried. Held me. Rocked me like I was still small.
"How could you leave me like this? What am I supposed to do now?"
A few hours later, she took me with her.
That night, the door opened again. Jared stumbled in. Smelled like a bar.
He pushed Shay away. Headed straight for the nursery.
"Maren, seriously? How long you gonna keep this up?"
He stopped.
The bed was empty.
His chest went tight.
He scoffed.
"Can't handle it anymore? Fine. Run. Don't bother coming back."
He walked back to the living room. Dropped onto the couch.
Shay wrinkled her nose.
"Whatever. Good riddance. But God, it smells like something died in here."
Jared didn't answer. Got up. Went to the bedroom. Threw open the closet.
All my clothes were still hanging there.
He exhaled. Shoulders dropping.
"Knew it. Didn't even pack. Just trying to make me feel guilty so I'll go get her. Yeah. Not gonna happen."
He felt better after that. Even told Shay to move her stuff in.
"If she doesn't want this place, fine. Let's see how long she lasts."
I watched. Didn't feel a thing.
Just floated there.
The next few days, Jared was everywhere.
Bars. Restaurants. Parties. Shay glued to his side.
But he wasn't getting happier. He was getting worse.
Day seven. He snapped.
He brought Carter home.
Opened my messages. Shoved his phone in Carter's face.
"Say 'Mommy.' Now."
Carter just stared. Too scared to move.
Jared's face twisted.
"I said SAY IT! What, you can't hear me? Call your mother!"
Carter started sobbing.
I wanted to kill him. Rip him apart with my bare hands.
Carter was four. And Jared was using him as bait.
"M-Mommy... Mommy... Mommy..."
Jared hit send on the voice message.
"Maren. You really not gonna answer your kid? You just gonna let him cry?"
Shay came up behind him. Slid her arms around his waist. Voice all sweet.
"Baby, enough. If she doesn't care, why should you? She's a terrible mother anyway."
Jared stared at the screen. Nothing.
He lost it. Called me.
Once. Twice. Three times. Voicemail every time.
He hurled the phone across the room. Screen exploded.
