Chapter 1On my eighteenth birthday, I got a letter. From eight-year-old me.
"Dear Senna,
You must be amazing now, right?
You and Harper are cool now. Mom and Dad love you. Theo's got your back. Right?
Harper pranked me again today. Threw centipedes all over my bed. Got bit like five times.
I was the one hurting but Harper cried.
Mom and Dad said I scared her. Theo said I'm petty. Can't forgive.
I'm so stupid. Can't back down. Can't forgive. But I hope you learned.
Hope you're easier now. Not holding grudges. Hope people like you now."
I closed the letter. Looked at the ripped-up acceptance letter on my desk.
Riverside Community College.
Last year I placed first in art. Crushed Harper.
She freaked out so bad she tried jumping off a building.
I refused to apologize. Parents kicked me out.
Theo blocked me. Said he'd never pay for my college. Not a dime.
Sorry, eight-year-old Senna.
I didn't do anything you hoped for.
But eighteen-year-old Senna learned something WAY better.
Learned to love myself.
---
"Riverside Community College" just sitting there.
Community college. Me.
Got a 1450 on my SATs and I'm going to community college.
I keep thinking about Harper waving around her Parsons acceptance letter like she won something.
That day the whole family crowded around her while she showed off.
"Senna I was just messing around. Wanted to see if you'd notice I changed your stuff."
"Didn't think you'd be dumb enough to not check."
I was shaking. Eyes watering. Looked at Mom like please.
She just patted Harper's head: "Harper was playing. You didn't check when you sent it in—that's on you."
Dad walked in with a new MacBook for Harper. Didn't look at me: "Harper wanted to see if you pay attention. Teaching you something. Gotta handle your own life."
My brother Theo nodded: "If you're good you'll do fine anywhere. Harper just gave you a chance to show what you got."
"And if you can't forgive people we're done paying!"
Dad Mom Theo Harper—all together.
Like I don't belong in this family.
Like I'm the problem.
But they knew. They all knew Parsons was everything to me.
I started crying. Tears hit my rental floor.
Looked down at the wet spot. Floor's peeling by my feet.
Flies buzzing. Window screen's ripped—bugs come in every night.
Bite me so bad I can't sleep so I just paint.
Day they kicked me out I didn't grab my art stuff 'cause Harper saw my practice scores.
Drawing 750. English 700. Total 1450.
She lost it that night. Locked herself in her room.
Said she wants to die. Said if I'm that smart she'll never catch up.
Mom and Dad broke the door. Found her crying on the floor with my art stuff everywhere.
Watercolors I saved two years for? She squeezed out every tube.
Portfolio piece for early decision? Ripped up.
Mom hugged Harper and yelled at me: "You know Harper gets upset easy! Why'd you score so high just to hurt her!"
I just stood there holding my score report. Staring at my destroyed painting.
"Just wanted to pass and get into Parsons. Wasn't trying to hurt anyone."
"GET OUT!" Dad never yelled like that before. "Stop hurting MY daughter!"
Theo didn't say anything. Just pushed me and my stuff outside.
Door slammed.
I sat on the sidewalk crying picking up my art supplies.
Chapter 2
Parsons was my dream.
For Parsons I stayed up painting every night.
For Parsons I saved three thousand dollars for summer art camp in New York.
Got to the airport—ticket was cancelled.
Harper's name on the cancellation. Money went to her account.
I had to buy the cheapest train ticket. Didn't even get a seat.
Thirty-six hours standing between cars. Smelled like piss.
Soon as I got off went right to the art studio.
Teacher said my tuition got refunded.
"Your sister called. Said you're not coming. We sent the money back."
I knew where that money went.
Called Mom. Same bored voice.
"Harper was testing you. If you're really good you don't need fancy camps—just do well on the real test."
I tried not to cry.
"She dumped paint on my state exam piece. Made me fail color theory."
"Why can't you let things go? Just do better on the SATs."
Mom sounded annoyed: "Stop calling. Harper gets upset hearing your voice."
She hung up.
I looked at the sky. Everything riding on the SATs.
Got 1450.
Thought I had Parsons.
But Harper changed my applications. Gave me community college instead.
"Senna I was kidding. We're family—chill out."
Family.
I laughed.
Opened Instagram. Harper just posted.
Picture of her Parsons letter saying "dreams come true."
Mom commented: "Our girl. So proud."
Theo liked it.
Dad Venmo'd twenty thousand dollars.
My throat closed up. Wiped my eyes.
Their family doesn't include me. Gotta find my own thing.
I stayed up all night looking at schools. Found one in Florence Italy.
No tuition. Just a small fee—they waive it if you're broke.
Get some scholarships work a bit? I could do it.
Didn't tell them. Don't need to.
But I needed my birth certificate for the visa.
Next morning I went to their house.
Heard laughing inside. Sounds happy. Four people.
I took a breath. Went to ring the doorbell—saw someone at the steps.
Cade.
My heart jumped. Remembered when I was fourteen.
My teacher showed my oil painting—worked on it a whole week.
Next day someone poured red paint on it.
I knew it was Harper. Went home called her out.
Mom and Dad just stood in front of her.
Said Harper's young doesn't know better. Said why am I making a big deal.
Theo got mad locked me outside. No dinner.
No money. So hungry. That's when Cade came.
Gave me snacks. Waited while I cried: "You're really good. Not your fault."
First time someone said not my fault.
I remembered for years. Then he got into Parsons told me:
"You should go too. See you there."
That's when Parsons became everything.
Throat tight. I walked up to him. Saw what he's holding.
Cake box. Gold letters: Congrats Harper—Parsons!
Cade saw me: "Senna. You came."
I stared at those gold words: "I didn't get in."
Cade didn't look surprised: "Yeah I know. Harper asked when you were applying."
Like getting punched.
Why didn't you tell me.
Before I could ask door opened.
Mom looked out smiling: "Cade! Harper's waiting—"
Her smile died seeing me.
"What're you doing here? Said you'd never forgive Harper. Never coming back?"
My fists clenched.
"Need my birth certificate. Community college wants a copy."
Only way she'd let me in.
Inside Harper's wearing some fancy dress opening the cake while Cade watches smiling.
Mom put me at the far chair.
Whole table's spicy food.
Harper loves spicy. I can't eat it—get hives.
Everyone knows. Nobody cares.
"Harper's going to Parsons."
"Harper's so pretty gonna be famous."
"Harper paint something for me."
Everyone around Harper like she's special.
I'm in the corner eating plain rice.
Harper cut the cake gave Cade the first piece: "Thanks for helping me change her stuff Cade. Couldn't get in without you."
Cade took it smiled at her.
My fork fell. Voice shaking: "You helped her?"
Chapter 3
Room got quiet.
Cade looked at me. Cold eyes: "Looked at the numbers. You get in she doesn't."
"You're good—you'll be fine anywhere. Harper needed this."
My eyes burning.
"You said you'd wait for me at Parsons."
Cade looked at Harper all soft: "Didn't know Harper was doing art then."
Something broke inside.
Dad cut in mad. Slammed fork down: "Senna your sister was never as good as you never as healthy. You took everything in the womb—you OWE her!"
Mom nodded.
"Cade did this for the family. Stop being selfish give your sister a break."
Theo laughed: "Harper cries you glare. Harper gets into Parsons you can't even say congrats."
Owe her. Give her a break. Selfish.
Eighteen years of this.
Harper was born four pounds. Two weeks in the hospital.
Everyone said my fault.
'Cause I took all the food in the womb.
Mom: "If you didn't steal Harper's nutrients she wouldn't be so tiny."
Dad: "You were seven pounds screaming. Harper could barely cry. You owe her."
Theo: "You got everything. She got nothing. Share."
I believed it eventually.
Gave up awards. Gave up supplies. Gave up summer camp. Gave up my portfolio.
Gave for years. Nothing left.
All that anger came out. I looked at them crying.
"Lived here eighteen years. Not one meal I like. Every dollar I gotta beg. Harper spends fifty thousand no questions."
"I gave EVERYTHING! My whole future! What more do you want!"
Mom's face red: "We gave you money! Every week!"
I actually laughed.
"After rent I had five hundred. Ate bread for a month. Harper spends three thousand on one meal."
"Why didn't you say something!" Mom yelled.
I did.
Window's broken—bugs bite me all night.
Mom said use bug spray don't be dramatic.
AC doesn't work. Got heatstroke passed out.
Dad said deal with it focus on art stop whining.
I had 103 fever. Wanted to come home.
Theo said take Tylenol you're fine don't be dramatic Harper'll get upset.
I looked at Mom: "Said something so many times. You never listened."
Dad stood up: "Came here to fight?"
"Came for my birth certificate. Then I'm leaving."
Mom laughed mean: "Fine. Pay for your own shit. We're done with you. Think you're so grown?"
Theo jumped in. "You want community college? We'll pay. But fix your attitude first."
"Thirty bucks a day—IF you text Harper every morning. 'Good morning Harper.' Miss one? No money. That way you can't waste it."
I looked at Theo. Used to be he'd do anything for me.
Now he's looking at me like: "What? Not enough?"
"Don't want it."
I walked out.
Mom yelling: "Walking around like that every day—you being my kid is a fucking curse!"
I closed the door. Cut off the yelling.
Sun burning my neck. Sweating and crying.
Letter still in my pocket. I read it again.
Sorry eight-year-old me. I can't forgive.
Just learning how to be happy alone.
That night I sent everything to Florence Academy.
Screen lit up my face. Heart racing.
First time doing something for me.
