Chapter 1Aurelia Finch never, in a million years, thought her long-distance relationship would end so humiliatingly.
After all, Xavier Chadwick's love for her was supposed to be the stuff of legends.
He was the hospital's freaking Chief of Surgery, yet he flew across the Atlantic for her more than nine hundred times, racking up almost ten thousand hours in the air.
And even though the visits were always a blur, he'd pull her close in the first snow and whisper in that low voice of his that every single second was worth it.
And the gifts he sent? They were endless.
From thousand-word love letters written by hand to multi-million dollar necklaces he won for her in bidding wars at Christie's.
Anything he thought might make her smile, he'd get it—if she wanted the stars, he'd have ripped them from the sky for her.
A love that felt like it was carved into his bones, unwavering for three solid years.
So, when Aurelia dragged herself off a red-eye back to New York, hearing their childhood friends gushing about Xavier's legendary devotion, only to hear Xavier himself deny it in a raspy voice...
She had to admit, her heart felt like it was being systematically shredded. It was torture.
His voice wasn't loud, but it sucked all the air out of the VIP lounge.
After a long, painful silence, someone finally broke the tension, "Xavier, dude, you're kidding, right?"
"You and Aurelia are the golden couple! I remember you bawling like a baby after she left for London, and for three years, you've been flying out to see her non-stop..."
The friend forced a laugh, his voice a little too loud, "How could you not be in love with her anymore?"
"I don't know," Xavier said, his voice completely flat.
The guy who was always so unshakable suddenly looked lost. "It's just... these last three years... I'm just so burnt out."
"Every time I managed to carve out the time to see her... yeah, it was nice for a bit, but mostly it was just hours and hours of being exhausted and alone on a plane."
"And the gifts... always having to top the last one. Always worrying if she'd even like it, if it would actually make her happy."
Xavier, whose surgeon's hands were usually steady with a scalpel, swirled the whiskey in his glass, watching the light refract. "I do still love her," he whispered, "but that love... it's running on fumes."
His friends just stared at each other before someone awkwardly changed the subject.
But Aurelia's mind had gone completely blank, a high-pitched ringing in her ears.
This was supposed to be a surprise, but Aurelia couldn't even remember how she managed to slip out of the bar without anyone noticing.
She actually thought, God, I wish I hadn't come home early.
Maybe then she could've kept the illusion alive, pretending everything was still perfect.
But there are no "what ifs" in the real world.
As she wandered in a daze, her phone, set on silent, suddenly buzzed.
Aurelia looked up and saw Xavier out on the street, his brow furrowed as he scanned the area.
Her heart seized. She quickly ducked deeper into the shadows of a tree, stared at his name on the screen for a long beat, and answered, her throat tight.
Xavier sounded a little out of breath. "Babe, I just saw your text! You're back early? Where are you? Are you on your way to the lounge?"
His familiar voice crackled through the phone, and her nose immediately started to sting.
She wanted to scream a million questions at him, but all that came out, choked back with a sob, was, "I, uh, changed my mind. I went home... When are you coming back?"
Hearing that, the worry in his voice melted away. "I'm on my way right now..."
But before he could finish, a girl in a bright red scarf ran and slammed right into his chest.
Aurelia watched, frozen, as Xavier instantly covered the mouthpiece of his phone, a smile spreading across his face as he affectionately ruffled the girl's hair.
And then he just... lied. "Actually, something came up at work. Wait for me."
The bright blush on the girl's pale cheeks burned itself into Aurelia's memory.
The world tilted on its axis, and a brutal cold plunged straight through her heart.
Chapter 2
The girl's name was Elowen Lynn. She was an intern under Xavier.
At first, the only times Xavier ever mentioned her to Aurelia were to complain about how hopeless she was, always screwing up patient charts.
Then, there was the time Xavier flew all the way to London for Aurelia's birthday, only to spend the entire night on a work call with Elowen, going over case files.
By the time he hung up, he was smiling, telling Aurelia how Elowen was such a fast learner, and how her personality was actually pretty cute and funny.
Aurelia just stared at the melted wax on her birthday cake and quietly asked him if they could please talk about something else.
The smile vanished from his face. He was quiet for a moment, then just said, "Fine."
After that, when Aurelia casually asked about her one day, Xavier claimed he didn't talk to Elowen anymore.
Clearly, that was a lie.
A light snow was falling as Aurelia got back to their apartment, her clothes clinging to her, damp and cold.
She keyed in the passcode she knew by heart: the date they had officially gotten together.
He hadn't changed it. The door clicked open.
The underfloor heating made the apartment feel warm and cozy, and her eyes went straight to the glass display case in the middle of the living room.
She stared at it, her heart twisting into a tight, painful knot, and then the tears just started to fall.
Inside, a warm spotlight shone down on a thick stack of round-trip plane tickets.
Every single one was numbered. Nine hundred and eighty-eight of them.
Xavier used to post pictures of the stack, proudly calling it proof of his love for her.
He'd said that by the time he hit a thousand, she'd be home for good, and he would propose the second she walked off the plane, so they'd never have to be apart again.
Her own heartbeat pounded in her ears as she thought back on all those lonely days and nights abroad.
She'd practically lived in the library, all to finish her degree ahead of schedule.
She didn't have time to make friends, and other students made fun of her for being a bore, but she never gave a damn—all she wanted was to get back to Xavier.
While writing her thesis, she got so run-down she spiked a fever, but she never told him. She just popped Tylenol like it was candy and smiled through their video calls, telling him she missed him, so, so much.
And now that she was finally back, her dream come true, reality was slapping her in the face: she was too late.
Xavier's love had spoiled.
When Xavier got home, he found Aurelia on her knees, sobbing so hard her whole body was shaking.
His brow furrowed instantly, and he rushed toward her, reaching out to hold her. "What's wrong? What happened?"
Aurelia shoved him away.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her nails digging into her palms as she fought for control. "On the phone earlier... I think I heard Elowen's voice."
The words took everything out of her, and she had to take a few shaky breaths before she could go on. "Why were you with her so late?"
She stared straight into his dark eyes.
And she saw something she'd never seen before: a chilling indifference and a profound exhaustion.
"Do you really have to do this right now?"
Xavier straightened up, keeping his distance, his voice turning cold. "I just ran into her. We're just colleagues, Aurelia. It's not some sordid affair you've cooked up in your head."
Just colleagues? Then why were you holding her like that?!
But before she could scream the words, Xavier stepped aside, revealing a jewelry box and a gorgeous cake in a velvet box he'd placed on the table.
He had gone out in the snow just to pick them up for her.
The fight went out of Aurelia, her heart battered by a confusing mix of pain and a sudden rush of joy.
But then his voice cut through the silence, hard and cold.
"Elowen is a good kid. You have no right to be so malicious about her."
"She's independent. She can spend all day in the lab without a peep. Unlike you, who needs to call and complain every time school gets a little stressful."
"She's rational, she never lets her emotions get in the way. Unlike you, who starts every conversation with an accusation."
"We just... click. In the O.R., she knows what I need before I even ask for it."
Finally, Xavier's lips pressed into a thin, hard line. "Aurelia, I still love you, right now, in this moment. But if you keep acting like this... I'm only human. I'm going to get sick of it."
He swept the gifts off the table and into the trash can.
The pristine, fairytale-white cake was now a ruined mess.
Just like their ugly, pathetic love.
Chapter 3
Aurelia hated being emotional, she was always the calm, rational one.
But in her dream, she completely lost it, screaming at Xavier in a way she never would in real life.
"You say you're tired, but I told you I could fly home to see you! YOU were the one who got angry and said I shouldn't doubt your 'undying love'!"
"You blame me for leaving, but we decided that together! YOU said my life shouldn't just be about you, and I promised I would come right back the second I graduated and never leave again!"
"I saw you were exhausted, I asked you what was wrong! And YOU were the one who shut me out, saying you didn't want me to worry and changing the subject!"
She laid into him like a woman possessed, but the dream ended the same way reality did: in disaster.
The next morning, Aurelia woke up with a splitting headache and found Xavier already awake, looking at her.
They stared at each other for a long moment before Xavier finally sighed, looking at how pale and drained she was.
"Can we just... be okay? No more drama, please?"
Dressed impeccably in a white shirt and a long black coat, he knelt down and gently started putting on her winter boots for her.
His sharp, handsome profile overlapped with the memory of his boyish face from years ago, but instead of a flutter in her chest, all Aurelia felt was a cold, bitter ache.
"Elowen and I are just colleagues. If you don't believe me, I'll take you to the hospital with me today. You can see for yourself."
"Okay," Aurelia agreed. She paused, her voice barely a whisper, "And... I have something I need to tell you later, too."
Last night, she had decided to apply for a PhD program at a university in a city she'd never been to. She'd already booked the one-way flight for next week.
It wasn't about getting even. She had actually thought it all through.
It didn't matter if Xavier was just angry last night, his words felt like shards of glass that had worked their way under her skin, a constant, dull pain she couldn't ignore.
All she had ever wanted was a love that was pure. If this wasn't it, she'd rather throw it away, no matter how much it ripped her apart.
But out of respect for what they once had, she felt she owed it to him to tell him to his face, to at least try for a clean break.
The drive to the hospital was completely silent.
As he was parking, Xavier took a call, and Aurelia could just make out the sound of a woman's voice, choked with tears.
She couldn't hear what was said, but he turned to her and muttered that a last-minute emergency had come up, and that she should go on up to his office and wait.
Aurelia started to say she didn't know the way, but he was already out of the car, slamming the door and rushing off.
And just like that, she was alone in the cavernous, eerie parking garage.
The hospital was huge, and it took her forever to find her way.
She took the elevator up to the tenth floor and walked toward the nurses' station to ask for directions to his office.
That's when she overheard a couple of young nurses gossiping excitedly. "See, I told you! Elowen gets a little upset after a patient snaps at her, makes one call, and Chief Chadwick comes running!"
Aurelia froze.
So this was his "emergency." The reason he'd ditched her without a second thought.
"Seriously, the Chief spoils her like she's his girlfriend or something."
"He holds her hand through everything, from consults to surgeries... total twenty-four-seven boyfriend mode. A patient's family even asked them when they were getting married!"
Another nurse whispered, "But wait, doesn't he have a fiancée?"
The first one scoffed. "Pfft, some long-distance fiancée he can't even see? What's that compared to our sweet little Elowen? All she has to do is smile and the Chief just melts."
Aurelia just stood there for a moment, letting a wave of bitter self-mockery wash over her.
When she finally turned around, she saw them. Xavier and Elowen, standing together at the far end of the hall.
The girl was drowning in an oversized coat, one Aurelia recognized instantly. It was the anniversary gift she had bought for him.
She'd even asked him why she never saw him wear it, and he'd told her it was too special, that he was keeping it safe.
Another lie.
How many sweet little lies had he spun over the last three years? Every time one unraveled, the net around her just got tighter, cutting deeper into her skin.
Elowen was crying her eyes out, the picture of helplessness.
And Xavier was gently wiping away her tears, his eyes so full of adoration it was practically spilling out. "Hey, no more tears. Didn't I take care of it for you?"
"As long as I'm here, no one gets to mess with you."
Soothed by the powerful man's soft words, Elowen's tears finally gave way to a smile. She pouted playfully. "Okay... so are you going to tell me who that woman on the phone was last night?"
Xavier went silent.
It was probably only a few seconds, but for Aurelia, it felt like an entire year passing.
And after what felt like an eternity, she heard Xavier's low voice say, "Just a friend. We're not close."
