Chapter 1I'd been secretly dating my best friend's older brother for six months. She had no idea.
On Christmas, she dragged me out for a girls' night out.
And then we ran into her brother, Luke, kissing a girl under the fireworks.
"Oh my god, he's been obsessed with that girl forever! I can't believe he actually got her!"
My best friend lit up and pulled me over to say hi.
Luke rubbed the back of his neck before introducing us.
"Uh, well. This is my sister. And this is her friend..."
He paused.
"She's... like another sister to me."
I almost laughed.
Yeah. Sure.
Six months of sneaking around, and I was still just his fucking "sister."
...
After Nancy's breakup, she was all about the "single girls healing each other" vibe.
Christmas together, fireworks by the river—the whole thing.
Meanwhile, I'd been hiding my boyfriend from her for six months.
The guilt was eating me alive.
Then she pointed across the crowd. "Wait, is that my brother?"
I looked. Tall figure, back to us. Black puffer jacket.
I'd know him anywhere.
That was the jacket I'd given Luke.
He'd told me he was too swamped with work to do Christmas. So I'd dropped off his present early.
Yeah. My secret boyfriend. My best friend's brother.
So what the hell was he doing here?
Before I could figure it out, the fireworks went off. The sky lit up.
Everyone around us started kissing.
And there was Luke. Turning to this girl, holding her face, kissing her.
I felt like I'd been punched in the chest.
He wasn't alone.
He'd blown me off for work. But really? He was here. With another girl.
Everything went quiet. I couldn't hear the crowd. Couldn't see the lights.
Just them.
The cold wind stung my face. Or maybe that was tears.
Nancy smacked my arm.
"Oh my god, that's Violet Hayes! He's had it bad for her since forever. I can't believe he actually pulled it off!"
I tilted my head back. Trying to keep the tears from falling.
I wanted to disappear.
But Nancy grabbed me. Started pushing through the crowd.
"Come on, we're crashing this. He owes us food."
By the time we got there, the fireworks had ended. They'd stopped kissing. But they were still holding hands.
Nancy slapped Luke's shoulder. "Hey! Caught you! Now introduce us to your girlfriend!"
Luke turned around and saw me. He froze for a second.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"Oh, so single people can't watch fireworks?" Nancy shot back. "Stop dodging. Spill!"
Luke pulled his gaze from me and looked at the girl beside him.
The tenderness in his eyes was unmistakable.
"This is my girlfriend. Violet."
He pulled her closer. "And this is my sister. Nancy. This is Kayla..."
They both looked at me.
My throat tightened, and I quickly lowered my head.
"She's Nancy's friend. Like a sister to me, too."
The girl smiled, shy. "Hi, I'm Violet."
Nancy grinned. "I know! Luke has been crazy about you forever! He showed me your pictures and talked about you nonstop. I swear, every other word out of his mouth was about you!"
I usually stayed away whenever Nancy and Luke were both around. I was too afraid we'd slip up.
I even made a point of steering clear of Luke whenever Nancy and I talked.
Turns out, he had been crushing on Violet for a long time.
Then what the hell had those six careful months been for?
I forced a smile. "Luke... Violet. Merry Christmas."
I didn't realize my voice was shaking until the words were already out.
Just ten minutes ago, he'd texted me:
[Sorry babe, swamped with work. Still at the office writing briefs. Merry Christmas.]
Yeah.
Merry fucking Christmas.
Chapter 2
Violet grabbed my arm. "Oh my god, you're freezing! Come on, let's go inside."
Before I could even say anything, we were sitting in a BBQ restaurant.
That's when I really looked at her.
She was stunning—big doe eyes, these perfect little dimples when she smiled.
The kind of girl guys write songs about.
She snuggled up against Luke.
"I'm starving, but don't you have to get back to the office?"
Luke had told me everyone at the firm was drowning in work these days.
All-nighters, crazy deadlines, the whole deal.
But now he just brushed her hair back and smiled. "I'd rather be here with you."
He shot me a quick look. Then away.
I'd never seen this side of him.
When we were together, work came first. Every single time.
Forgot my birthday because of some case.
Ditched me mid-date for phone calls.
And whenever I got upset, he'd feed me the same line:
"I'm building our future. That's what matters."
I'd actually believed that bullshit. Swallowed every excuse. Convinced myself it was fine.
But watching him now? It all clicked.
When you actually care about someone, you make it work.
You don't forget their birthday. You don't just bail without explaining.
Right now, staying here meant he'd be at the office until god knows when tonight.
But for Violet? Worth it.
God, it was so fucking obvious.
He never gave a shit about me.
Nancy wouldn't shut up, peppering them with questions about their whole love story.
Violet ate it up, grinning the entire time.
"We met at school. We're all alumni, actually."
"Wait, he's liked me for years? I honestly had no clue. I thought we were just friends."
"Today's our first official day. He's been asking me out for like a month, and tonight, he finally told me how he felt."
She had this sweet, dreamy tone. Like every girl who just got swept off her feet.
Meanwhile, I just sat there.
Love at first sight. Pining for years. Finally getting the girl.
If I wasn't sitting here drowning in my own misery, I'd probably think it was cute.
Except this guy being all romantic and attentive had literally texted me "goodnight, love you" yesterday.
I couldn't eat.
Just pushed food around my plate while they laughed and flirted.
Finally, dinner ended.
Luke said he'd drop Violet off, then head to work.
Nancy shoved me toward him.
"I'm taking off. You're going back to the office anyway—just give her a ride."
Luke's jaw tightened. He was about to say no.
But Violet looped her arm through mine. "We can all go together!"
So he couldn't exactly refuse.
Part of me wanted to make an excuse and bail.
Being stuck in a car with them sounded like actual torture.
But then I thought—why the hell should I be uncomfortable?
I'm not the one who fucked everything up.
Chapter 3
Luke opened Violet's door and leaned in to buckle her seatbelt for her.
I climbed into the back.
Watched her reach for the stereo, switching off my playlist. Put on her own.
She'd obviously done this a million times.
Luke used to pick me up from campus all the time when we first started dating.
But this past month? He was "too busy."
My handmade keychain wasn't hanging from his rearview mirror anymore.
Neither was the little charm I'd gotten blessed at church to keep him safe.
I just stared out the window, throat burning, not saying a word.
When we got to Violet's place, she hopped out and opened my door.
"You should sit up front! You look kinda pale—are you carsick?"
I started to say no, but she was already pulling me out of the backseat.
"Seriously, it's fine. I'm not the kind of girl who freaks out just because another woman rides shotgun with my boyfriend."
Right. Because she had no idea I'd been sitting there for months.
Back when he was still my boyfriend.
Once Violet went inside, it was just the two of us.
Luke didn't start the car.
Just sat there, fingers tapping the steering wheel.
He always did that when he was nervous.
Finally, he said, "I'm sorry."
Couldn't even look at me.
I let out this bitter laugh. "That's all you've got? Sorry?"
I mean, what could he even say?
There was no explanation that would make this okay.
But I couldn't stop thinking about how things used to be.
Him showing up outside my dorm at midnight after business trips, just to surprise me.
Texting me photos of random dogs he saw on the street because he knew I'd think they were cute.
We'd been good together. He'd made me happy.
I wouldn't have spent six months hiding if he hadn't.
I just needed to hear him say something.
He cracked the window and lit a cigarette.
The silence stretched out forever.
When he finally stubbed it out, he said,
"I've been into her for years. But she had a boyfriend, so I never said anything. I figured it wasn't gonna happen. Then I met you, and I really thought...
I don't know, maybe we could build something. But then she broke up with him.
And when she came to me crying about it, all I felt was—god, I hate saying this—but I felt relieved. Like maybe I finally had a chance.
I couldn't just let that go.
Kayla. Can we just... can I treat you like a sister? Like Nancy?"
I almost laughed in his face.
"Luke. When you told me we'd go public once we were 'stable'—you were just stalling in case Violet became available, weren't you?"
He didn't say anything.
That was all the answer I needed.
A secret relationship was convenient for him.
Didn't stop him from chasing someone else.
Easy to walk away from, too.
He'd been holding out for Violet this whole time.
Playing the devoted, patient guy while lying straight to my face.
Did he ever actually care about me?
Or was I just killing time until she was single again?
Didn't even matter anymore.
I'd been an idiot.
The cigarette smoke drifted toward me and I felt nauseous.
I shoved the door open and got out.
He rolled down the window. "Let me drive you home—"
"Don't." I turned around and kicked his car door as hard as I could.
He drove off.
The street was completely empty.
Who the hell walks around alone on Christmas night when it's freezing out?
Tears started streaming down my face, hot against my cold skin.
It hurt so much I just broke down sobbing right there on the sidewalk.
