Chapter 1I woke up staring at Kade Thornwood—the Alpha I'd trapped for six years.
We were dying. Ambushed on the way to complete our mating ceremony.
"Go ahead," I said. "Send her one last message through the pack link."
Everyone knew who I meant.
Veira Nightshade. His first love.
I'd forced this Bond by holding a blade to my own throat. Over and over. Until he finally gave in just to make me stop.
This trip? Same deal. Another threat. Another breakdown.
I waited for him to look at me with pure hatred.
But when the vehicle flipped and flames crawled across the seats, he shifted.
His wolf slammed into me, pinning me down as the roof caved in.
His voice came through our half-broken bond.
"Relax. The Moon Goddess doesn't want you anyway."
Then everything went black.
When I woke up in the snow, I found the lower half of his wolf form.
The rest of him was just... gone.
He'd used the last of his Alpha strength to make sure someone would find me.
A week later, I stood on the roof of the pack infirmary.
I pulled up our Bonding photo. Both of us looked dead inside.
One tear slipped down my face.
Then I jumped.
When I opened my eyes, I was back.
Back to the night I forced him into this.
Kade. Last time, you traded your life for mine.
This time?
I'm giving you your freedom back.
---
"Nola. Okay. I'll do it."
His voice cracked. Exhausted. Desperate.
"We'll complete the Bonding next Wednesday. Just—put the blade down. Please."
He stood across the room, hands raised like I was a wild animal.
He looked wrecked. Dark circles. Hollow eyes. That's what six years of my obsession had done to him.
I just stood there, frozen.
Because in my head, I was still in that burning vehicle. Still hearing his last words through the bond.
I don't owe you anything.
The blade hit the floor.
He rushed forward and grabbed me, pulling me against his chest. His whole body was shaking.
"You're okay. It's okay."
His hands were already moving, checking the cut on my arm.
"Let me see. I'll clean it up."
Blood dripped onto the floor between us.
I stared at his face. My fingers wouldn't stop trembling.
Seeing him again felt like being ripped apart and stitched back together at the same time.
"Does it hurt?"
He crouched in front of me, carefully wiping the blood away.
I shook my head.
Honestly? I'd lost count of how many times I'd done this. Cut myself. Threatened him. Spiraled.
It all started when Veira came back.
He'd ditched my birthday to pick her up from Stormbreak territory. Just left. No explanation.
I'd lost it. Flipped the entire table of food I'd spent hours making. Screamed at him until my voice gave out.
Then there was the night she got attacked by rogues. Three in the morning, and he drove out to carry her back himself.
The next day, I found a message on his phone.
[Kade. I regret leaving. Can we finish what we started?]
He didn't reply.
But that night, I heard his wolf howling from the balcony. Over and over. A sound I hadn't heard since before we'd Bonded.
A few days later, he asked me to wait.
Wait. Like our six years together meant nothing. Like every promise he'd made could just be erased.
I couldn't handle it.
"Wait for what, Kade?"
My voice came out shaking. Desperate.
"Are you asking me to wait? Or are you the one waiting for her to take you back?"
Silence.
That's when I broke.
I snapped back to the present and caught my reflection in the window.
My hair was a mess. My face looked hollow. The Mark on my neck had faded to almost nothing.
I looked destroyed.
And I was done.
"Kade."
I pulled away from him.
"Forget the ceremony."
"We're done."
Chapter 2
Kade froze. His head snapped up.
"What did you just say?"
He looked confused. But underneath that? I caught it. Relief. Just for a second, but it was there.
I opened my mouth to answer, but his phone buzzed.
Veira's voice came through the speaker. Sweet. Sticky. Performative.
"Kade! Pack dinner tonight. Elder Garrick said if you skip out on me again, you're in serious trouble."
Then Mira Thornwood—his mother—grabbed the phone.
"Kade, Veira just got back from Stormbreak. This is how you treat your promised mate?"
He hung up before she could finish.
When he looked back at me, there was something close to panic in his eyes.
"She's just—don't listen to her. My mom doesn't know what she's talking about."
"It's fine."
And I meant it.
I was used to it by now.
Six years of trying to prove myself to his pack. Six years of being invisible.
While Veira showed up once and they were already calling her the future Luna.
In my old life, I would've lost it. I would've hit his chest, screaming at him for never defending me. For letting them treat me like I was nothing.
Because that's what it felt like. Six years erased the second she walked back into Ironpine territory.
"I'm not going."
He grabbed my hand, his voice urgent.
"I told you. I'll keep my distance from her."
I didn't yell. Didn't cry. Didn't demand he prove it like I used to.
Instead, I reached up and straightened his collar.
"Go. Don't fight with your pack because of me."
He blinked. Clearly thrown off by how calm I was.
But he wanted the peace too badly to question it.
"Okay. I'll bring you back something. Those flowers you like."
He headed for the door, pulling on his jacket.
Before he left, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Don't overthink this, Nola."
"I promised you the ceremony. I'll make it happen."
That was always his move. Give me just enough hope to keep me holding on. Then rip it away when it mattered.
Just like last time.
He gave me the Bonding ceremony. Then left me alone that same night to comfort Veira, who couldn't handle "losing him."
The whole pack knew. Even on the night we completed the Mark, he didn't stay.
I'd sat in that room, surrounded by ceremonial candles and flowers, staring at the wall until dawn.
I snapped back to the present and pulled out my phone.
I booked a one-way trip to the neutral town of Millbrook.
If forcing this bond would only destroy us both, then this time, I was letting go.
Late that night, warmth pressed against my back.
Kade's voice came low near my ear, surprised.
"You went to bed without waiting up?"
In my past life, I never slept until he was back.
I'd track him through the pack link. Check every movement. Drive myself insane.
Then I'd corner him the second he walked in.
"You said you were patrolling! So why were you at Veira's den?"
He'd flinch. Then snap back.
"You were spying on me?"
"You lied to me!"
Silence. Then the same hollow apology.
"I'm sorry."
Sixty-eight days since Veira came back. Sixty-eight apologies.
Each one carved something out of me.
So I'd grab a blade and lose it completely.
"Kade, why do you keep lying? Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"If you can't let her go, then fine. I'll let you both go."
His face would go pale. He'd lunge forward and rip the blade out of my hands.
"Stop. Please. Just stop."
It always ended the same way. Both of us bleeding. Both of us exhausted. Both of us hating what we'd become.
I'd collapse on the floor and suddenly remember what we used to be.
We used to run through the northern woods together. We used to howl at the moon until our throats were raw.
He used to hold me close and ask, voice shaking, if I'd stay with him forever.
How did we go from that to this?
Blood on the floor. Bruises on our skin. Nothing left but anger and regret.
I pulled myself back to the present and took a breath.
My voice came out calm. Empty, almost.
"I'm done fighting. I get it now."
Chapter 3
Kade's eyes narrowed. "Get what?"
I wanted to tell him the truth. That forcing the Bond was wrong. That it destroyed us both.
But I just smiled instead.
"That I need to trust you more. Stop being so paranoid."
He went still. Then pulled me closer, burying his face against my neck.
"Thank you."
The next morning, I woke up alone.
I pushed open the bedroom door and heard it immediately.
A whiny, baby-talk voice.
"Feed me~"
I froze.
Veira Nightshade sat at the table, head tilted, lips pouted like a child.
Kade looked annoyed. But he still picked up a piece of roasted meat, dipped it in herb butter, and held it up to her mouth.
She took a bite. Then flinched.
"Ow, it's hot."
He leaned down and blew on it gently.
She giggled, pleased with herself.
"You always did this when we were together. Old habits, huh?"
"Three years with you, and I was completely spoiled."
He didn't answer. But I saw it. The corner of his mouth twitched up.
He grabbed a cloth and wiped the corner of her lips.
Then he looked up and saw me standing there.
His hand jerked back. He put distance between them. Fast.
Veira followed his gaze.
Her eyes drifted from my face down to the silver pendant hanging around my neck. The one with the crescent moon carved into it.
She smiled.
"Kade."
Her voice went soft. Mocking.
"You actually kept that pendant all these years?"
Kade's face went white.
"I remember the night I left. I threw it into the river at the Stormbreak border."
"Didn't think you'd go fishing for it just to give it to her."
My chest tightened. My breathing went shallow.
That pendant was the first gift Kade ever gave me.
I'd found him late one night, sitting alone in the den, staring at it with this hollow look in his eyes.
I'd laughed and asked who it was for.
He'd startled. Then shoved it into my hands, stumbling over his words.
"For you. Do you... do you like it?"
I wore it every day for six years. Never took it off.
Now I knew. It was hers first.
In my past life, I would've lost it. Flipped the table. Screamed at her to get out.
I would've grabbed Kade and demanded to know what I meant to him. If anything.
But this time, I just looked at him—watching him scramble for an explanation—and shook my head.
"It's fine."
I reached up, unhooked the chain, and set it on the table in front of Veira.
"It's yours. Take it back."
The pendant. And him.
Veira blinked. Like she hadn't expected me to give in so easily.
But she recovered fast. Smiled. Snatched it up.
"You're right. Holding onto things that aren't yours is just sad."
She glanced at Kade. Her meaning was crystal clear.
"Same goes for people. Even if you complete the Mark, all I have to do is call, and he'll come running."
Kade's jaw clenched. "Veira."
She pouted, dripping fake innocence.
"What? Am I wrong?"
"Your pack calls me the future Luna every single day."
She turned back to me, not bothering to hide the sneer anymore.
"Oh, by the way, Nola. I'm moving this afternoon."
"Mira gave me a den on the east side of the territory. Said it's going to be mine and Kade's new home."
She tilted her head.
"Want to come see it?"
I shook my head. My voice came out flat.
"No. I've got things to do."
I looked at Kade.
"You should go with her."
