Chapter 1From birth, I was the unwanted child.
At three, Mom left me for a foreign land.
At five, my eldest brother forced chili water down my throat and made me say it tasted good.
My second brother would deliberately ditch me at the kindergarten entrance, leaving me to walk home alone in the dark.
My third brother would gang up with other kids to block me from using the bathroom, until I soiled myself, and everyone would laugh.
The worst came when both the neighbor girl and I fell sick - Dad didn't hesitate for a second to rush her to the hospital, but told me to "go die somewhere else!"
Until—I'd shake uncontrollably and throw up whenever I saw them...
That's when they finally started freaking out.
Dad broke down crying and begged me:
"Sweetie, can you please just call me 'Daddy' one more time?"
I opened my mouth, but couldn't get A SINGLE WORD out.
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The sky grew darker and darker.
Raindrops rolled down one by one, hitting so hard I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Rain poured into my hood, soaked through my body—everything was leaking, and the cold made me shiver all over.
Passing adults would stop and look at me with concern.
"Hey, little one, are you lost?" one woman asked gently.
"You should get inside, sweetheart. This rain is getting worse," another man urged.
I shook my head firmly. "I promised my brother I'd wait for him here."
Good children get candy.
I waited until dawn broke, but my brother never came.
Finally, Butler Mr. Wilson found me.
He seemed to sigh.
"Little Miss, Master has been looking for you."
"Where's Ryan..."
"Young Master Ryan went home last night. You need to come back with me quickly, or Master won't be happy."
Compared to Ryan, I was more afraid of making Dad mad.
I followed Uncle Wilson to the car.
Before I even entered the house, I heard playful voices.
"That idiot is probably still waiting for me at the mall entrance. How is someone so stupid our sister?"
My youngest brother Marcus was playing with a toy truck. "You know how she is—she believes whatever we tell her. So obedient. And she'll still cling to us shamelessly afterward."
My middle brother Ryan was confused. "Why is she my sister? The girl next door, Katie, is so much cuter. I wish she were my sister instead."
Eldest brother David's voice was low but filled with disgust. "If it weren't for her, why would Mom have left?!"
I stood soaking wet at the doorway. When the wind blew, it got even colder.
Seeing me, my brothers' eyes looked away.
Dad came down the stairs, his first words accusatory. "What happened?"
I didn't dare say it was because of my brother.
"After I went out yesterday, I got lost."
Dad's face darkened.
"Didn't I tell you not to wander around and just to stay close to your brothers?"
I clutched the hem of my clothes and whispered, "But I didn't get the place wrong."
Ryan deliberately said, "Yesterday, I told her to wait for me in that spot, but the driver didn't see Claire there, right?"
Dad believed my brother. His voice was furious. "You still won't admit it?"
He took out a ruler. "Hold out your hand."
I remembered the last time I was disobedient.
Dad locked me in my room for a whole day.
He was always so busy.
Too busy to remember he'd locked me in the room.
I didn't eat until I was so hungry I got dizzy and fell asleep.
Only then did I get to eat warm soup and crackers.
I didn't want it to be like last time.
So I obediently held out my hand.
BANG!
The ruler struck my palm with a sharp crack.
"Don't run around. Can you remember that next time?"
My hand trembled, the pain bringing tears that wet my palm.
"I'll remember."
"Louder!" Dad struck again, harder.
I flinched from the pain, sobbing, "I-I'll remember."
Dad had business to attend to at noon and left.
Mr. Wilson helped me change clothes.
After finished that, only one piece of bread was left on the dining table.
Ryan made faces and mocked me.
"Little crybaby."
"Thought you could tattle on us? You think Dad would believe you?"
Frantically hungry, I wolfed down the bread.
At that time, Marcus brought me a glass of water for the first time ever .
I was desperately thirsty. Looking at gentle Marcus, without even thinking, I gulped down the entire glass in one go.
"How does it taste?" Marcus asked me.
I nodded and smiled, "It's good."
Of course anything my brother gave me would be good.
But soon enough.
Something was wrong.
Chapter 2
Fire spread through my mouth.
The burning moved to my throat, then my stomach, then my chest—pain so intense it made me roll around on the floor.
My brothers' laughter filled my ears.
"I told you she'd definitely drink it."
"Evan said 'It's good'—of course hot pepper water tastes good, hahahaha!"
"Let's see if you dare tell on us next time!"
I desperately wanted water, but my brothers had taken control of all the water sources in the house.
Then I ran into the kitchen, climbed onto the counter, and turned on the faucet.
With my head tilted all the way back, I chugged the water straight from the faucet.
My brothers lost it—"Look at her! Gulping exactly like some damn thirsty toad, hahhahah!"
Cold water poured down my throat over and over into my stomach.
My belly swelled up round and tight.
The burning made tears stream down my face. I hadn't taken two steps before I threw up.
The beautiful carpet was stained with yellow vomit.
When the housekeeper saw the mess all over the floor, she scolded me in a low voice.
"What's wrong with you? Just as troublesome as your mother."
"If you don't learn to behave, I'll have to tell Master."
I was picked up.
But I felt like I couldn't breathe properly.
I thought of Mom.
I clutched the silver locket around my neck—it was the last thing Mom had left me.
Did she leave me because I wasn't well-behaved enough?
But I had been trying to be good. When would Mom come back?
After the housekeeper washed me, I hid under the covers.
My stomach hurt.
My face was hot.
Even rolling around in the big bed, I couldn't get comfortable.
I couldn't fall asleep for a long time.
It wasn't until midnight when I heard Dad's footsteps.
I carefully got out of bed, pushed open the door, and peeked out.
I wanted to tell Dad my stomach hurt.
But Dad's face looked scary, dark and frightening like a wolf.
"Why are you still awake so late?"
"Why can't you ever learn to behave?"
I stared down at my little white feet.
So it was really because I was still not good enough that Mom wouldn't come back?
I pouted, about to cry again.
But Dad picked me up and put me on the bed.
"Don't be willful next time."
"I know, Daddy."
He tucked the blanket around me. I still wanted to say my stomach hurt.
But Dad answered a phone call and turned to leave.
I knew he was always busy, so busy he didn't even eat meals with us.
I didn't say anything more.
Half-asleep, I seemed to see Mom.
Mom left home when I was three years old.
That day I didn't listen to Mom.
I told Dad that Mom wanted to go to the carousel with me.
Dad got angry again. He was very fierce.
"Vivian, using the child—aren't you ashamed?"
They fought, fought terribly.
In the end, we still went to the amusement park.
Mom said she was going to buy ice cream and told me to wait right there.
But a beautiful butterfly flew by that day. I chased it, and when I finished chasing, Mom was gone.
Finally Dad brought many men in black suits and surrounded the entire amusement park.
The first look Dad gave me was like a monster about to devour someone.
"Where's Mom?"
I cried loudly in fear.
Since then, I haven't had a mother.
All three of my brothers think it's because of me that they don't have a mom.
I tried hard to be good, to listen to Dad and my brothers.
If I become good enough, Mom will come back, right?
Chapter 3
The next day, Mrs. Wilson pulled me up to get ready for school.
My stomach hurt, so I went to the bathroom by myself.
This time the color was different.
It looked black, or maybe red.
Mrs. Wilson urged me on.
"Miss Claire, if you keep dawdling, your brothers won't wait for you."
I put the toilet lid down, climbed up on it myself, and flushed.
I followed my brothers to school.
At kindergarten, halfway through playing, my stomach suddenly hurt again and I wanted to go to the bathroom.
Ryan led a group of kids to block my way.
When I cried in fear, they would laugh happily.
Until my stomach hurt so much I was desperate and couldn't hold it anymore.
A terrible smell filled the air.
All the kindergarten children covered their noses and stayed far away.
I saw yellow liquid flowing down from my pants.
My head felt like firecrackers going off.
Everything in front of me exploded.
"How can I have a sister like you? So disgusting."
"Claire pooped her pants!"
"No shame, five years old and still messing herself."
All the children were laughing at me.
I stood there crying.
Until the teacher Miss Davis came over.
She helped wash me and changed me into a clean set of clothes.
She said I was still small, and not being able to control it was normal.
Everyone goes to the bathroom.
But I knew this time was different.
I saw disgust in their eyes. From now on, no one would ever want to be my friend again.
After school, the driver came to pick up my three brothers.
I tried to get in the car.
Yet Ryan blocked the door with his body.
"Don't get in. You're dirty and smelly. So old and still wetting yourself, pooping your pants."
After hearing this, the driver looked at me strangely too.
Different from Miss Davis's gaze.
My cheeks felt burning hot.
I hung my head and quietly stepped back.
He closed the door.
"It's not far anyway, just walk home yourself."
Being left behind alone—I was used to it by now.
I walked from daylight until dark.
Finally I got home.
The moment I pushed open the door, I saw Katie from next door was sitting on our sofa.
She was crying.
My three brothers surrounded her, trying to comfort her.
I don't know why, but when they saw me, they got very angry.
"Did you steal something from Katie?"
