Chapter 1I was gonna confess to my childhood best friend at his birthday party.
Plot twist? Caught him making out with my bestie.
So I walked up to the guy SHE'D been thirsting over all semester—campus's biggest catch—and kissed him.
"You down?" I said.
FUCK being the second choice.
Childhood best friends can stay in the friendzone where they belong.
This time? I'm somebody's FIRST pick.
Trading my leftovers for her dream guy? Best trade I ever made.
---
I busted my ass for a whole month just for tonight.
999 origami notes. Every single one had something I wanted to tell him written inside.
The walls? Covered in photos—all these pics I'd been sneaking of Lucas Morgan over the years.
Him sweating his ass off on the court.
Chewing on his pen like an idiot.
That one time he literally drooled on his homework during study hall.
Smack in the middle was this big-ass sign surrounded by balloons:
"Been waiting 10 years. You + Me?"
I figured he'd get all worked up, pull me in and be like "Finally" or "God yes" or—I dunno—just say he felt the same. Something.
Yeah, no.
I sat there like a complete dumbass from six till eleven at night. He never showed.
My friends started giving each other looks.
One of the guys was like, "Yo can we eat? I'm fucking starving."
This girl kicked him and turned to me with the most fake sympathetic face. "Bet practice ran over. Jocks, right?"
God, that look. Felt like she just slapped me.
I smiled—or tried to. "Yeah totally, let's just... eat."
Sounded chill, but inside I was dying.
After everyone finally left, I was walking out last, head all fuzzy, like someone dumped ice water on my brain.
When I glanced into the private room next door, I just… froze.
Lucas. Holding Sienna Hayes. Mouth on hers like he's trying to eat her alive.
Sienna's my roommate. My best friend.
I stood there, ears ringing.
Part of me wanted to charge in and rip them apart. My hand was on the door, but I stopped.
What the hell was I even? A friend? His little sister? What right did I have?
I turned to bail and crashed right into a waiter's tray. Red wine went everywhere—all over my new white dress, spreading like blood.
My friends heard the crash and came back. They saw what was going down in that room and it got awkward as hell.
Someone handed me napkins. Someone looked away. Someone pretended to check their phone.
After they all left, I completely lost it. My heel twisted and I ate shit right there on the sidewalk.
The jar of notes smashed everywhere, glass cutting up my hand. Blood mixing with wine all over my dress.
I had nothing left. Just started ugly crying right there.
Then this jacket landed on my shoulders.
I looked up. Someone's hand reaching down.
Paxton.
I remembered he'd been invited tonight too, just sitting quiet in the corner the whole time—so quiet I basically forgot he existed.
He's looking at me, total mess that I am, hand still out.
"Lemme get you home."
I grabbed his hand and hauled myself up, then basically collapsed into him, holding on tight.
And I just—God, I lost it. Cried even harder. Snot and tears and my destroyed makeup smearing all over his white shirt.
"How could they—" I can't even talk right, I'm crying so hard. "How could they do this? Why?!"
He ignored everyone staring, just kept patting my back real gentle, like calming down a freaked-out cat.
Back at the dorm, I crawled under my blanket and shut my eyes, trying to forget everything.
But then the door banged open.
Sienna's back.
Chapter 2
She comes in all hyped up. "Leah..."
Then rips my blanket off, grinning. "Me and Lucas are together! You're happy for me, right?"
Saw my face—totally blank—and goes, "You're not pissed, are you?"
I just stared at her. Not a single shred of guilt. Just sitting there all smug.
"I'm not pissed."
She looked so relieved. "I knew you'd get it."
Then she plopped down on my bed and wouldn't shut up about their perfect love story.
"Last week he helped me with books, our hands like, brushed."
"He actually remembered I hate cilantro."
"Tonight he said he's wanted this forever."
"Oh, and he kissed me first. He was kinda tipsy and said he's been into me since day one."
She's going on and on, grinning like crazy.
I'm watching her talk and thinking about a month ago—
When I stayed up all night folding those notes for Lucas, she'd said, "If someone did that for me, I'd say yes so fast."
Few days ago she told me if I liked someone I should just go for it.
I just didn't know she meant them—without me in the picture.
I sighed. "Yeah. Whatever makes you happy."
She paused, like she didn't expect me to be this chill.
Lucas and I grew up next door to each other.
He went to the school across town—total jock, sunny personality, tall with these dimples when he smiled.
Every time he'd come get me for food or whatever, I couldn't just ditch Sienna, so we'd all three hang out around campus.
But Sienna...
She knew I'd been into Lucas forever.
She knew about every crush, every flutter, every stupid fantasy I'd had over the years.
She knew that today—TODAY—in that room, I was gonna tell him: "Let's be together."
But instead, she's next door making out with him.
Sienna kept talking at me:
"Leah, don't make this weird, okay? Me and Lucas?"
"You're still our best friend! Always!"
"The three of us—we'll keep hanging like we always do!"
"I'd seriously feel like shit if you're mad at me."
I didn't react. Didn't say anything.
She waited, then pushed. "Wanna go shopping tomorrow? Gonna get couple stuff for me and Lucas."
I yanked the covers over my head. "I'm busy."
She wouldn't drop it, pulling back the covers, about to say more.
I closed my eyes and faked sleep.
Minute later, my phone buzzed. Lucas.
[I went after her. leave her alone]
[shes treating you like a sister and youre acting like THIS??]
[she literally cried all night bc of you]
[stop bullying her just bc youre jealous]
[mess with her again were done. im not kidding]
I stared at my phone, felt like I swallowed something rotten.
Back when I was ten, fell and scraped my knee so bad. Lucas gave me a piggyback ride home and told me, "I got you now. Always."
My fifteenth birthday he got me this basketball. Had "Just want Leah happy" written on it.
Senior year after SATs he goes, "I'm gonna apply wherever you go. Gotta have your back."
That version of him and last night kept crashing in my head.
I gripped my blanket so hard. Turns out this guy I grew up with wasn't who I thought at all.
Chapter 3
Next morning I went straight to the dean's office to get back that full-ride Oxford scholarship I'd turned down.
The lady's flipping through files going:
"See? Told you. I knew you'd come back for this. Something this good? You don't just walk away from it. I figured you'd change your mind so I didn't even bother filing the paperwork yet. And here you are."
She won't shut up:
"You kids, I swear. Act like your whole life is just... I don't know, whatever."
"That Paxton kid? Same exact thing. Gets the spot, gives it up, then goes and applies anyway—to the same school. Like what are you guys even doing?"
I stopped moving. "Wait. The spot I got... that was his?"
"Yup." She nods.
"We tried talking to him. Me, his advisor. He wanted to go there—obviously—but had the whole thing set up and just ditched it. Said he'd apply himself. Who does that?"
I walked out in a daze, her words spinning in my head.
Paxton and I barely knew each other. Most of what I knew came from other people.
Campus heartthrob who won all the polls, straight-A everything, loaded family, the kind of guy girls would sneak looks at.
In my head he was always this untouchable dude with a warm but distant vibe, keeping everyone at arm's length.
The real interactions? It was probably finals when the library was packed to hell. There'd always be an empty seat by him, and I'd show up late dragging Sienna over.
We barely talked.
But I remember this one time I got stuck on a problem and was about to rip my textbook apart. Paxton "just happened" to get up and leave.
I glanced over and saw that exact problem worked out in his notebook. Felt so lucky, copied it real quick.
When I finished he came back for his notebook.
Another time I passed out at my desk working on this architecture model.
Woke up with a jacket on my shoulders.
Always thought it was Lucas's.
But...
Lucas wasn't even in that classroom that day.
How'd I just assume the only person who'd look out for me was him?
All these little things I never noticed suddenly got so clear.
I'm thinking about last night—sobbing into Paxton's chest, my trashed makeup smearing all over his shirt. My face started burning.
What a fucking embarrassing memory.
Next day, Lucas took us all out to this Korean BBQ place to celebrate him and Sienna.
Got there and the whole table was just... everything she liked.
He was grilling meat for her, holding her hair when she leaned over the grill, wiping sauce off her face.
Dude barely touched his own food. Just sat there taking care of her and making googly eyes the whole time.
My roommates wouldn't stop:
"Oh my God he's so good to her! This is like a drama!"
"Stop I'm gonna cry. I'm so jealous."
Sienna giggled and smacked his arm, then went, "So funny, I totally thought he liked Leah at first. You know, 'cause they basically grew up together. But nope, turns out they're just friends and I'm more his type."
Said it all casual but kept glancing at me.
Lucas laughed, fed her some beef. "Dude we were like ten. She's my sister."
I just sat there messing with my food. Trying not to roll my eyes.
Sienna goes all cute, "Wait you have that greenhouse thing right? At your house? Can I see it?"
Then to everyone, "Leah used to go there with him all the time. I was so jealous."
My fork almost fell. Just—stopped moving.
Lucas goes, "Yeah for sure. Just us from now on."
My fingers went tight, nails digging in my palm.
That was OUR spot. Lucas built that thing just for ME.
My fifteenth birthday he painted stars on the glass ceiling with glow paint and said, "This is just you and me."
I nodded so seriously back then, believed it this whole time.
She turned to me smiling. "Leah you wanna come?"
Lucas cut in right away. "It's a date. Why would she come?"
I glanced up at them, totally unbothered. "Nah, I'm over that place anyway."
Their smiles froze.
Didn't wanna watch their little show anymore. "I'm done."
Then I got up and left.
Outside, it was freezing. Cold air smacked my face, eyes stinging.
Stood under a streetlight looking at my shadow.
Felt alone as hell.
